Home/JokesFunny New Year’s ResolutionsUpdated Mar 31, 2017ShareNew Years Resolutions for 2009 This year, I resolve to: Always replace the gas nozzle before driving away from the pump. I will always “check for paper” when leaving the restroom. I will try to drive closer to the speed limit. I will always wear clean underwear, “just in case”. I will keep an extra safe distance when driving behind police cars. I will no longer park the BMW next to fire hydrants. I will start drinking less beer I will stop buying useless stuff I will try to drive more carefully Share
